When in Reality
Erin Hutchison, Finding Your Way Group Facilitator & Minister of Kranky Transformation
Even though I’m a minister, I don’t think I’ve ever given up anything for Lent—that time of introspection and last embrace of winter’s solitude before the celebration of Easter and Spring’s new growth. There have been a few years where I’ve added something during Lent, like a daily one-sentence prayer or a daily reading of a poem, but that’s about it. Never things like chocolate or coffee—I mean come on, I’m not a sociopath. And I guarantee no one in my life wants me to give up my morning coffee.
When Mary suggested we delete Facebook and Instagram from our phones for Lent, I laughed in her face. “Very funny, Mary,” I said. But she was serious. Really? Um, well, you see, Facebook and Instagram are the only ways I connect with some of my friends, who are all over the world. And I’ve already set time limits for those apps! See? Look—only 15 minutes a day, ok? Oh, you’re still serious? Yeah, I don’t know, Mary. I’ll have to think about that one.
A mesmerizing camping collage Erin made during one of her meaning-making treks. During our collective meaning-making trek work we frequently visualized sitting around this campfire together.
A week later, after feeling ridiculous for being so reluctant to get off social media, we actually sat down together to delete them from our phones: “Ok, let’s do it now! Ready? One, two, three, delete!” As Mary started deleting, I paused and said, “Uhh, ok, hold on a second. Let me just post real quick that I’m giving up social media for Lent and that people should text me, and then I’ll delete them…”
You will never hear me say that social media and screens are bad. They are necessary tools in our world. It’s just that, when I wake up in the morning, while still cozy under the covers, I check social media to see what’s going on, see how people are responding to the latest (likely awful) news, giggle at the latest “cat getting freaked out by a cucumber” reel, check to see if there’s any updates from my kids’ schools, see what drama has transpired in the local moms’ Facebook group overnight, and look to see if I have any “likes” or comments to my own posts. And then I do it again while making breakfast. And then again before I get in the shower, and again after the shower, and again while I’m waiting in the school carpool lines, and then and then and then and then….
And then, before I know it, I’ve picked up my phone out of habit without even knowing why. I tell my kids, “Hold on a second because I’m just checking something really quickly…”—when in reality, there is nothing that needs to be checked, looked at, or scrolled through. It was just a habit for me. It’s just what we all do, right?
Social media truly is its own world with its own online friendships, and we are so very used to this world being part of our daily, real life. Which is not a bad thing. So, over the past six weeks, I indeed missed seeing what funny memes Chris had sent me, how Team Theo was doing, if I needed to moderate a post as the administrator in my grad school’s alumni group, or if Stephanie had sent me the latest videos of Pedro Pascal’s adorable antics. Connecting with people in small ways. That’s what I missed.
Otherwise, I did NOT miss the political drama of Facebook (or the local moms’ group). I did not miss spending time scrolling through the flood of images on Instagram. I did not miss navigating the incessant slew of ads. I found myself leaving my phone in my purse and instead hanging out with my kids and husband without checking my phone, actually doing artwork instead of looking at other people’s artwork, and working 1000-piece puzzles on the coffee table while watching my kids have dance parties. Have you ever seen little kids try to master the “moonwalk” with “Smooth Criminal” on repeat? Hilarious. I’d post the video to show you, but Instagram isn’t on my phone anymore. Just come by the house and watch the hilarity in person. I’ll make you a coffee while you help me with this puzzle.